woensdag 27 januari 2010

feeling so very 'if only I'd known ¬¬''

dinsdag 12 januari 2010


We were at school.
I walked over to you and said
'You said you wanted to tell me something'.
You blushed and told me 'never mind'.
I looked at you, smiled and told you never mind was not an option.
Your face turned an even deeper red.
I got one step closer.
You hesitated for a second and then said
'I'm not gonna tell you now, not even if you try to force me!'
and winked at me.
I grabbed you by the arm and pulled you closer to me.
'So you want it the tough way, huh?'
I started to tickle you 'till you screamed stop with me siting on top of you.
You laughed, looked at me and said 'OK! Game! I'll spill!'
I tried to get up, but you grabbed my shirt, rolled us over and put your face close to mine.
'I'm in love with you'.
You smiled.
I was speechless, but before I could even think of what to say or do next,
You kissed me.
We lay for 5 minutes
I rolled us over again, stood up, looked at you and said
'sorry... but I can't do this now... you know how I feel...'
I turned away and started walking.
'You value our friendship over our love, but my love for you is so strong I had to choose...'
I stopped walking and turned to you
'Losing you, or trying to be with you were my options.'
Again I was speechless
'But I now know what you meant' you smiled 'Your point has been made'
You started walking away
I ran to you, stopped you and looked you deep in you eyes
'No... your point has been made!'
You looked surprised, tears were running down your face
'I love you'
we kissed.
That was the last time I saw you...
This was just two hours before you had your accident, but it makes me happy thinking you died happy.

I love you


Are you the one to fill the hole that was once my heart?
Am I the one to love you 'till I die?

Are we supposed to be forever?
Are we supposed to love 'till the end?

If so... Who is the one to tell me?

I hope you understand I'd rather just try and see for myself.

donderdag 7 januari 2010


hoor je dat?



zo lekker hea^^

zaterdag 2 januari 2010

gelukkig 2010(!/?)

mijn liefde voor jou laat mij stomme dingen doen.
nou ja...
liefde laat mij stomme dingen doen!
door liefde maak ik fouten.
veel fouten.
en vaak ook de zelfde.
ik kreeg jou bericht en heb in 10 minuten mijn spullen gepakt en ben op de trein gesprongen,
niet stilstaand bij de consequenties.
maak ik nou de zelfde fout bij jou als ik al eerder heb gemaakt?
maak ik nou de zelfde fout als bij haar?
maak ik wel een fout?
dat zijn de vragen die door mijn hoofd spoken.
en fouten heb ik zeker gemaakt
en ooit zal ik inzien welke...
mijn vrienden vergeven mij mijn stommiteiten.
wat een raar gevoel eigenlijk...
mensen die je fouten accepteren...
ikzelf kan het niet.
wel bij hen, niet bij mij...
zij vergeven het, ik niet.
en jij?

ik voel me schuldig, gebruikt, mishandeld, geliefd, verliefd en eenzaam...
gelukkig 2010(!/?)